Monday, August 22, 2005

Gun Stories

Here's a couple of interesting items from the Civilian Gun Defense Blog:
File this under Stupidity of Criminals:
"An 83-year-old resident of Rod and Gun Road fired several shots at two men he thought were burglarizing his Millcreek Twp. house, but the men escaped in a truck." Look you stupid bastards...you don't try to break into a house on Rod and Gun Road! What were you two half wits thinking? A homeowner on that road is guaranteed to have some type of weapon armed and ready. Goodness Sakes you clowns, you're supposed to burglarize houses on Unarmed Liberal Street because you just know besides a firearm free target, you' probably find a stash of good drugs and nekkid people pictures.
File this under What's In A Name?:
"Jaime Matthew Evilsizer, 19, of Brookside Trailer Court was taken to St. Mary's Good Samaritan Hospital for treatment of wounds to his abdomen and thigh, police said." The story lists his rampage throughout the town. He started off at an elderly gentleman's house where he got shot, but that didn't stop the Evilsizer. "They said Evilsizer left the property and went to the 600 block of Wabash Avenue, where he allegedly struck an unidentified male with a board." Then "they said the officer caught up with Evilsizer again, and the suspect swung at the squad car, hitting and damaging a spotlight. When the officer opened the door, Evilsizer allegedly grabbed it, damaging the door before he fell to the ground. He then reportedly got up and went down an alley." Wow! What strength, what stamina! The hospital reported that "he had traces of methamphetamine and cannabis in his system, as well as a blood alcohol level of .195, which is about three times the limit at which a person is considered to be legally intoxicated, according to police." Drugs? No Way. It was the Evilsizer. Twenty minutes a day three times a week will give you unequalled ability to evade police and survive bullet wounds. I think it's available on a Tony Snow infomercial.

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