Monday, August 27, 2007

Interview With A Replacement

As the person responsible for all executive matters, I recently interviewed a possible domestic helper. After all the preliminaries had concluded, the important question had to be asked. "Are you afraid of guns?" The answer was a resounding "Yes! I hate them."

Well, that doesn't bode well for possible acceptance by the executive. Fearing guns around the house is irrational, I've yet to see any gun get up, load itself and then search for a victim. Of course in fairness more questioning was called for. In a bizarre turn of events the interviewee had said they had actually been to a range before and liked the experience!

Now that is bizarre! Shooting was enjoyable, but guns are not? As the search is in its initial phase, this anomaly isn't necessarily disqualifying. However, more research is called for.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Presley Gun Stolen?

Quad-Cities Online reports an Enemy Press AP story about the disappearance of a handgun owned by Elvis. It seems a visitor to Graceland noticed the gun's display case was ajar and the gun was missing.

The story states "A video camera caught a man removing the pistol from the display case around midnight." Now, are we completely sure that the gun didn't talk the man into removing him? Do we have any assurances that said gun isn't prowling the streets just looking for someone to shoot? Is it possible the gun is holding the man hostage? What evil intent does the gun have? We know that the man couldn't be responsible himself for the theft, the gun must have some type of hold over him.

Whenever the pistol is recovered, it would be interesting to hear what ordeal the man had to endure. Surely it was a horrible experience being controlled by a gun....

Tagged As:

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Louis Napoleon's Gun Found! Only Dropped Once....

Enemy Press Network ABC reports that the FBI recovered a gun from a San Antonio, Texas, collector that purportedly belonged to the lesser Bonaparte.

Apparently the buyer didn't know it was stolen when he purchased it, but learned about it shortly thereafter. Of course knowing it was stolen property, he should have returned it. He tried to sell it instead and was caught by the FBI Art Crime Team. FBI Art Crime Team??? Whaaa? They must be really busy as they still haven't caught the perpetrators of this crime against art.

The French government has demanded the return of Nappy's carbine. Considering they don't seem to have much use for guns, why bother....?

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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Man With The Golden Trigger

I was just minding my own business strolling through the local Bass Pro when I felt something tugging at my sleeve. I turned around to see who it was:

It looked so sad, all restrained by an evil gun lock.

So I did what all good people would do, I freed it.

How special I feel. Special as a New Orleans pimp with my beautiful golden trigger. The gold tooth is extra, but I didn't have the money for it.

Tagged As:
Second Amendment
Gun Rights