Monday, January 19, 2009

Obama's New Declaration Of Dependence!

!!!Special to Ah, Shoot!!!

The following is a draft text of the new declaration of independence planned for America by PEBObama. This was found near Harry Reid's office by an anonymous staffer.

When, in the course of socialist indoctrination, it becomes necessary for one group of America haters to try to impose an anti-freedom government, and to assume among the rest of the world's evil powers of the earth, the debased and totalitarian station to which their arrogant natures and their father Satan's nature self entitle them, an indecent bowing down to the opinions of dictators and mass murderers requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the overthrow of liberty.

We hold these untruths to be self-evident, that all men, women, and transgendered are not created equal, that they aren't endowed by evolution with any unalienable rights, that among these life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is circumscribed by what we, the self appointed elite declare.

That to secure these rights, governments are imposed among men, deriving their unjust powers from the ideas and immorality of those who hate freedom. That whenever any form of government is founded inimical to these ends, it is the right of the elite to alter or to create a new one in their own humanist, anti-God image, laying its foundation on such shifting sands and organizing its total powers in such form, as their own eyes see fit to effect only their safety and happiness, not the people's in general.

Desire for destruction of liberty, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should be abolished in whatever way it can to destroy freedom; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to accept the end of liberty, while being promised government handouts, than to right themselves by hard work to which their forefathers were accustomed.

But when a long train of stinky Capitol tourists and pesky citizens demanding votes, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce the self appointed elite under the rule of law, it is their right, it is their duty, to destroy such a free democratic government, and to provide a totalitarian aristocracy for their own future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these elites; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present people of the United States is a history of repeated self reliance and dismissal of the superior opinions of the elites and the refusal to bow down to them, all having in direct object the continuance of a democratic republic over these states. To prove this, let our so called facts be submitted to a candidly evil group of fellow tyrants whom we want to imitate.

They have refused their assent to laws, the most likely to be demanded by the United Nations.

They have forbidden their betters to pass laws of immediate and pressing benefit to the elites and constantly neglect to obey us.

They have refused to let us commit vote fraud to help install like minded elites in large districts of people, unless those people would already vote for us, a right inestimable to them and formidable to we tyrant wanna-bes only.

They have called together legislative bodies at places usual, comfortable, and under public scrutiny, for the sole purpose of making sure we comply with the laws.

They have dissolved representative houses repeatedly, by elections which oppose us with many firmness in our invasions on the rights of the people.

They have refused for a long time, after such elections, to cause other elites to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, we are working towards annihilating, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime protected from all the dangers of invasion from without, and our seditions within.

They have endeavored to prevent the population of these states with illegal aliens; for that purpose to make them follow the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their unfettered migration hither to strengthen our voter base of dupes, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands so our new vote slaves can't get a mortgage backed by the people.

They have obstructed our misadministration of justice, by refusing their assent to laws for establishing legislating from the bench by our judges.

They have made judges dependent on their will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries when we should decide that.

They have opposed a multitude of new offices, and deny us the right to send hither swarms of officers to harass the people, and eat out their substance.

They have kept among us, in times of peace, respect and love for our armies without calling them the baby killers we deem them.

They have affected to render the military independent of and superior to the Civilian National Security Force we plan to use to rule the country.

They have combined with others to keep us free from subjection to a jurisdiction foreign to our failed constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving their assent to their acts of constitutional legislation:

For admiring our armed forces:

For protecting them, by adherence to our supreme laws, from punishment for any false charges which they should be subject to by international bodies who we the elites say we should bow down to:

For expanding our trade with all parts of the world:

For not allowing us to impose taxes on them without their consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by media:

For not allowing us to transport those we deem enemies like patriots and soldiers beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses by the United Nations or other thug government:

For not abolishing the free system of constitutional laws in a neighboring state, not allowing we the elites to establish therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same democratic rule in these states:

For insisting on following our charters, not abolishing our most valuable laws, and not letting us alter fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For voting out our corrupt legislators, and declaring themselves invested with power to vote against us in all cases whatsoever.

They have not abdicated government here, by declaring themselves under our rule and continuing to vote against us.

They have freely harvested our seas, ravaged our coasts by putting their houses there and blocking our views, moved into our towns, and destroyed our lives of leisure and rule by insisting on their freedom.

They are at this time transporting large numbers of our troops to complete the works of removing death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of ending the reigns of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages in Iraq and Afghanistan, and totally unworthy the head of the socialist nation we want.

They have constrained our fellow citizens taken captive who were captured bearing arms against their country, to become witness against their friends and brethren in the ranks of our enemies, or to fall themselves by their hands.

They have not allowed domestic insurrections amongst us, and have endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, a border fence to keep out criminals and terrorists, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have tried to impose our rule in the most arrogant terms: our repeated seditions have been answered only by repeated rejection. A people, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a free man, is unfit to rule themselves.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our Socialist brethren. We have informed them from time to time our failed attempts to suborn our legislature to extend our jurisdiction over the people. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our political situation here. We have appealed to their groupthink, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common totalitarian ideals to help us with these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence and delay our creation of a world government under the banner of the United Nations. They too have been unable to help destroy liberty. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, that we can't take over the government without more aid, and hold the freedom loving peoples that remain in the United States, as we hold the rest of decent mankind who believe in freedom and God as, enemies in war, in peace slaves.

We, therefore, the representatives of the The Democratic Party, Apostles of the Zero, International Answer, Code Pink, The Communist Party USA and various other collectivist groups in a general politburo, assembled, appealing to our true father, the Devil, for our sinister intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the elite people of these states, solemnly publish and declare, that these united states are, and of right ought to be enslaved and dependent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the Constitution of the United States, and that all political connection between them and the free people of America, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as unfree and dependent states, they have full power to obey all dictates of the United Nations, and to do all other acts and things which subservient states may do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection foreign troops, we mutually pledge to each other the lives, fortunes and the debased state of our new serfs.

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